Alligators in the Pool

A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen.
The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators.
The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.
The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!"

(Source: http://www.onlyfunnystories.com/AlligatorsPool.asp)

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Catch a Rabbit

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

(Source: http://www.onlyfunnystories.com/Catch_Rabbit.asp)

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Weight Loss Plan

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,"If I catch you, you are mine!!!"
He lost 63 pounds that week.


(Source: http://www.onlyfunnystories.com/Weight_Loss_Plan.asp)

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Teaching Grammar

Students’ Level                       : Junior-High School

Language Component             : Grammar

Sub-Language Component     : Simple Past Tense

Time                                        : 2 Hours @45 Minutes

Text Genre                              : Recount Text

Method of Teaching               : Three-Phase Technique

Pre-Teaching

1.    The teacher greets the students as entering the class

2.    The teacher asks some students about their experience by saying; “What did you do yesterday?”

Main Activity

1.    The teacher explains to the students about past tense;

General Formula: S+V2+(O)+(C)

Time signal:

o  Yesterday

o  Last month

o  Last year

o  Last night

o  Etc

Example:

o  Susan went to my house last night.

o  I played basketball yesterday.

2.    The teacher shows to the students the example of recount text;

Bus Was Flowing Right Behind Me

I ….. (Stay) a night at Sakhuwa of Gati VDC because a landslide near Baseri had blocked the road. The next morning, I ….. (hop) onto the bus with registration number Ba 2 Ka 4013 that ….. (be) on the way to Barhabise from Tatopani.

I ….. (take) a seat by the door side and remember that there ….. (be) around 35 passengers, including me. The driver ….. (start) the bus. A kilometer into the journey, I ….. (notice) a ditch on the road.

The driver ….. (try) to avert the ditch. Before I ….. (can) know what was going on, the bus ….. (start) hurtling towards the bhotekoshi.

The river ….. (carry) me for about 35 kilometers and ….. (leave) me on the shallow surface. I ….. (pass) out after that. The rescuers ….. (take) me to a hospital when I ….. (regain) consciousness.

I ….. (hear) later that all except four passengers had had survived. I have sustained injuries on the face, hands and other body parts. Nonetheless, I feel that surviving was my destiny.

3.    The teacher asks the students to fill the blank with the verb in the bracket and change it into past form (V2).

4.    The teacher asks the students to find out some parts of the sentences which uses past tense formula and explain it;

Answer;

o  I stayed a night at Sakhuwa of Gati VDC

S   V                  Adv. Of Place

o  I hopped onto the bus

S     V           C

o  I took a seat by the door side

S         V                   Adv. Of Place

o  The driver started the bus

       S            V           C

o  Etc.

Post-Teaching

1.    The teacher asks the students to make ten sentences using past tense form and make it be their homework.

The teacher says good-bye to the students.

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Teaching Speaking

Students’ Level                       : Senior-High School

Skill                                         : Speaking

Sub-Skill                                 : Story telling.

Time                                        : 2 Hours @45 Minutes

Text Genre                              : Narrative Text

Method of Teaching               : Three-Phase Technique

Pre-Teaching

1.      The teacher greets the students as entering the class

2.      The teacher asks the students about the story they have heard before and what it is all about.

Main-Teaching

1.        The teacher tells a story in front of the class and the students will listen to it.

Larry suddenly woke up from a deep sleep. The sun was dazzling his half-open eyes, and he could not figure out what time it was. The door to his room was closed; the house was immersed in some sort of reckless silence. He slowly got out his bed and approached the bench right next to the window. For a moment, he thought, he heard a tapping sound coming from the attic. Then again he heard the sound, only this time it seemed to be somewhat closer. He looked outside the window and saw a man going by the left side of the road. On seeing Larry, the man approached his garden’s fence and whistled. At this point, Larry recognized Nick and waved his hand. He quickly got dressed and was about to get down opening the gate, but he again heard someone murmuring in the other part of the house. Larry decided to go to the attic and see what was causing this, now buzzing sound. He got to the second floor of his house and looked toward the attic. He quickly opened its door and looked inside. Nothing was found. He was about to turn back and attend to his guest when he suddenly, slipped on the stairs and fell. He called out Nick to help him get up.

2.        The teacher asks the students to work in pair and tell their friend about their own story. They can change their partner when both of the students have finished telling their story.

Post-Teaching

1.    The teacher asks the students about their obstacles in telling story.

2.    The teacher will give some suggestion in telling a story.

The teacher says good-bye to the students.

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Teaching Writing

Students’ Level                       : Senior-High School

Skill                                         : Writing

Sub-Skill                                 : Writing a descriptive text.

Time                                        : 2 Hours @45 Minutes

Text Genre                              : Descriptive Text

Method of Teaching               : Three-Phase Technique

Pre-Writing

1.      The teacher shows to the students about the example of descriptive text;

A Friendly Clown

On one corner of my dresser sits a smiling toy clown on a tiny unicycle-a gift I received last Christmas from a close friend. The clown’s short yellow hair, made of yarn, covers its ears but is parted above the eyes. The blue ayes are outlined in black with thin, dark lashed flowing from the brows. It has cherry-red cheeks, nose, and lips and its broad grin disappears into the wide, white ruffle around its neck. The clown wears fluffy, two-tone nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is light blue, and the right side is red. The two colors merge in a dark line that runs down the centre of the small outfit.

2.      The teacher explains the elements in the descriptive text above and generally.

3.      The teacher will put a bear doll in front of the class.

Main-Writing

1.        The students will write a descriptive text about the bear doll.

Post-Writing

1.        The students who have finished writing can exchange their work with another student’s and check the grammar mistake on it.

The students submit their works to their teacher and the teacher will make a correction and tell it to the entire class.

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Teaching Reading

Students’ Level                       : Senior-High School

Skill                                         : Reading

Sub-Skill                                 : Fast-reading, Reading aloud

Time                                        : 2 Hours @45 Minutes

Text Genre                              : Spoof Text

Method of Teaching               : Three-Phase Technique

Pre-Teaching

1.      The teacher greets the students as entering the class

2.      The teacher writes some English vocabularies and its meaning next to it.

Main Activity

1.      The teacher asks some students to read the following text loudly.

An Irishman's Jocular Tale

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all entered a 26 mile long swimming race.  After 12 miles the Scottish man gets tired and drops out.  Then after 16 miles the English man gets tired and drops out.  After 25 miles the Irish man decides he can't finish the race, so he turns around and swims back to the start.

2.      The teacher corrects the students’ miss-pronunciation after they have finished reading it.

3.      The teacher asks the students to read some funny stories (prepared by the teacher) and answer the multiple-choice questions on their book. If they have finished reading it, they can pass it to the other students who have not read it yet.

Post-Teaching

1.        The students submit their answer books to their teacher.

2.        The teacher asks the students about their obstacles in understanding a text.

The teacher says good-bye to the students.

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